- When my partner complains, I feel unfairly picked on.
- My partner’s negativity is too intense, too much, too out of proportion.
- I think it’s very important to determine who is at fault.
- I feel like I don’t get credit for all of the positive things that I do.
- When my partner complains, I feel like I am being attacked.
- There’s no stopping me once I get started.
- I don’t complain until I feel hurt.
- When I bring up a problem, I try to convince my partner that I am right.
- My spouse can be pretty arrogant at times.
- I get fed up with all of the negativity.
- I try to make general points instead of talking about one specific action or behavior.
- I can’t think of much that I admire in my partner.
- I can’t help feeling that there’s a lot of stupidity in my partner’s behavior.
- When my partner is upset with me, I think of all the ways that I let down the relationship.
- I am fed up with all of the negativity, and I wish my partner would change.
- When I am hurt in an argument, I think about ways to get even.
- My partner’s moods are so exagerrated and out of control.
- I hate it when our discussions stop being rational.
- I often withdraw and find it difficult to look my partner in the eye.
- When we have a big argument, I usually threaten to leave.
- I disapprove of my partner’s behavior.
- I often think, “I don’t have to take this kind of treatment.”
Did you answer “Yes” to any of these questions?
If you answered “Yes” to 3 or more of these questions, there may be significant barriers to communication in your relationship. If you have a score of 5 or more, you and your partner may be engaging in behaviors that routinely damage your relationship.
What makes these behaviors so hurtful is that it’s so easy for them to become bad habits. They interfere with a couple’s communication, and create a continuing cycle of discord and negativity. Together, the couple creates a narrative in their minds that says, “You don’t care about me.” Eventually you stop reaching out to your partner, fearing that you will be rejected or hurt once more.
Please call to further asses your marriage with a free marriage check up appointment or call to schedule a couple’s session.
Has your child:
- Experienced physical or sexual abuse.
- Witnessed domestic violence.
- Witnessed or is a victim of a traumatic experience.
(ie: abuse, accident, animal attack, refugee experience, medical procedure, illness of a loved one)
- Experienced separation from a caregiver.
(ie: divorce, foster care placement, death)
- Struggled with toileting issues.
(involuntary or voluntary urination or excretion, bed wetting)
- Demonstrated concerns with eating.
(refusal to eat, overeating or hoarding food)
- Exhibited sleep related concerns.
(nightmares, night terrors, refusal or inability to sleep)
- Showed aggression toward others.
- Struggled with the inability to be soothed or tolerate frustration.
(tantrums or emotional outbursts lasting longer than 20 minutes)
- Showed extreme defiance toward others.
(inability or refusal to follow direction from authority or caregivers)
If you answered yes to any one of the 10 signs above your child would likely benefit from meeting with one of our play therapists. For additional information or concerns please contact our therapists.
This video from the Association for Play Therapy highlights the importance of Play Therapy for children and the many benefits that have been discovered by properly implementing it. Check out their website and give this video a watch. Our therapists can assess if Play Therapy could help your child and begin this highly beneficial means of communication.
Heather T. Forbes, LCSW
Are you struggling with your children, not even enjoying being a parent some days? Heather T. Forbes, LCSW shares a new perspective of parenting that can literally change your family for life. Her information will empower you to bring back the peace and happiness into your home that has been overcome by arguments, control battles, and defiance. Just hit the play button for the answers you have been seeking.
World renowned for his work on marital stability and divorce prediction, John Gottman has conducted 40 years of breakthrough research with thousands of couples. His work on marriage and parenting have earned him numerous major awards, including:
- Four National Institute of Mental Health Research Scientist Awards
- The American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy Distinguished Research Scientist Award
- The American Family Therapy Academy Award for Most Distinguished Contributor to Family Systems Research
- The American Psychological Association Division of Family Psychology, Presidential Citation for Outstanding Lifetime Research Contribution
- The National Council of Family Relations, 1994 Burgess Award for Outstanding Career in Theory and Research
Some resources referred by The Journey for families/guardians of individuals receiving treatment include:
- Transforming the Difficult Child: The Nurtured Heart Approach
By Howard Glasser and Jennifer Easley
- The Anatomy of Peace: Resolving the Heart of Conflict
By The Arbinger Institute
- Reviving Ophelia: Saving the Selves of Adolescent Girls
By Mary Pipher and Ruth Ross.
- Ophelia Speaks: Adolescent Girls Write About Their Search for Self.
By Sara Shandler
- Ghosts in the Nursery. A psychoanalytic approach to the problems of impaired infant-mother relationships
By Fraiberg S, Adelson E, Shapiro V
- Angels in the Nursery: The Intergenerational transmission of benevolent parental influences
By Lieberman A, Padron E, Van Horn P, Harris W
- Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters: 10 Secrets Every Father Should Know
By Meg Meeker
- The 10 Habits of Happy Mothers: Reclaiming Our Passion, Purpose, and Sanity
By Meg Meeker
- Boys Should Be Boys: 7 Secrets to Raising Healthy Sons
By Meg Meeker
- The 5 Love Languages of Children
By Gary D Chapman, Ross Campbell
Other Books to Check out:
- Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love
By Sue Johnson
- The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical Guide from the Country’s Foremost Relationship Expert
By John M. Gottman
- And They Were Not Ashamed: Strengthening Marriage through Sexual Fulfillment
By Laura M. Brotherson
- Fighting for Your Marriage: Positive Steps for Preventing Divorce and Preserving a Lasting Love
By Howard J. Markman, Scott M. Stanley, Susan L. Blumberg
- The Relationship Cure: A 5 Step Guide to Strengthening Your Marriage, Family, and Friendships
By John Gottman
- The Good Marriage: How and Why Love Lasts
By Judith S. Wallerstein, Sandra Blkeslee
- Raising An Emotionally Intelligent Child The Heart of Parenting
By Ph.D. John Gottman, Joan Declaire
- How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk
By Adele Faber, Elaine Mazlish
- 1-2-3 Magic: Effective Discipline for Children 2-12
By Thomas W. Phelan
- Parenting From the Inside Out
By Daniel Siegel, Mary Hartzell
- Beyond Consequences, Logic, and Control: A Love-Based Approach to Helping Attachment-Challenged Children With Severe Behaviors
By Heather T. Forbes, B. Bryan Post
- Don’t Shoot the Dog!: The New Art of Teaching and Training
By Karen Pryor
- The Gifts of Imperfect Parenting: Raising Children with Courage, Compassion, and Connection
By Brene Brown
- The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are
By Brene Brown
- Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead
By Brene Brown
- I Thought It Was Just Me (but it isn’t): Making the Journey from “What Will People Think?” to “I Am Enough”
By Brene Brown
- Reinventing Your Life: The Breakthough Program to End Negative Behavior…and Feel Great Again
By Jeffrey E. Young, Janet S. Klosko
- Becoming Attached: First Relationships and How They Shape Our Capacity to Love
By Robert Karen
- Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us
By Daniel H. Pink
- Remembering Wholeness: A Personal Handbook for Thriving in the 21st Century
By Carol Tuttle
- Facing the Shadow
By Patrick Carnes
- He Restoreth My Soul: Understanding and Breaking the Chemical and Spiritual Chains of Pornography Addiction
By MD Donald L. Hilton Jr.
- Intimate Treason: Healing the Trauma for Partners Confronting Sex Addiction
By Claudia Black, Cara Tripodi
- Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself
By Melody Beattie